French Bakers Association pen open letter to Kanye West, take him to task over those damn croissants

Do not mess with French people’s food.

In hindsight it should have been easy to foresee. Kanye West‘s latest opus, Yeezus (which got five stars from us), featured a line about the French breakfast delicacy in the track ‘I am a God’.

In a French-ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants

This resulted at first in the usual photoshop hilarity we’ve come to expect from the internet – image search “Kanye croissants”. But now the French Bakers Association’s Bernard Aydelotte has written an open letter to Kanye about the line, highlighting the expertise and time required for a good quality croissant while also questioning why Ye doesn’t make better use of his omnipotence.

“We could easily let this water pass under the bridge, as they say, but we take your lyrics very seriously. From the other lines in the song, we have come to understand that you may in fact be a “God.” Yet if this were the case — and we, of course, take you at your word — we wonder why you do not more frequently employ your omnipotence to change time and space to better suit your own personal whims. For us mere mortals, we must wait the time required for the croissant to come to perfect fruition, but as a deity, you can surely alter the bread’s molecular structure faster than the speed of light, no? And with your omniscience, perhaps you have something to teach us about the perfect croissant. We await your guidance and insights.”

You can read the whole letter on Medium. It’s a thing of beauty.



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